Slowing Down

Before I made the switch to making art full-time, I worked for UPS for 11 years. First I worked as a loader, and then as a driver during our time in Arizona. Working in this environment was stressful and toxic, though I learned a lot about working "efficiently" and quickly. I was very good at my job, but I wanted desparately to make my own business in creating art. I wasn't sure what form that would take, but when I got the opportunity to leave and move back to Michigan I took it.

It was disturbing at times to not have to rush to get packages to someone's door, or to even have a schedule that someone else made for me. I had gotten so used to the fast paced nature of the job, that I didn't really know what to do with myself.

My wife was very encouraging and understanding (I don't deserve her). She told me she didn't care about whether or not I made money with my art, but that she wanted me to explore and create with out being hindered. Summer time was probably the worst time for the first few years.

Our daughter would be home from school and would want to play. Having the flexibility to not work and hang out with our daughter is something that not everyone gets an option to do. As a man I feel this compelling urge to work and be busy because it is what I am used to. Summer can often feel frustrating because I feel a tension to work and to rest, and I feel guilty when I do both.

I am trying to reframe my thinking to help me not go insane with guilt and depression.

Lately I have been thinking about my work, and life, in terms of seasons. There are times when work should be focused and intense, and other times when not much is happening and work is more fluid to allow for creativity to truely flourish and create something meaningful. I always feel the need to be busy, but I am realizing that this is a cultural narrative (which is especially evident in the entrepreneur circles).

I realize that I am fortunate to have an opportunity to slow down, and that not everyone has the ability to just stop working, but I think we are starting to see a shift in the nature of knowledge work that is for the better.

It's my desire that we slow down, not just in work, but in life. Life moves so quickly, and the last thing that most of us want to say at the end of our short lives is "I wish I had worked more". Work is important for our society, but it is all consuming in a way that is not sustainable.

I am currently reading a book by Cal Newport called "Slow Productivity" and it is a great read so far.

I hope you find time to rest and slow down in this season.